Saturday, January 31, 2009

sideways/the company

sideways was okay, nice concept but mid-life focus. the company was much better especially since laura is extreme ballerina and she was the commentary for the whole movie. today is so insanely busy with proactive 'to-do's. thank goodness everything is checked off now. tonight, princeton at my lovely adriana's romanian birthday party.

it's a gift to have a friend who speak the same language.... with the exception of cate cause we have 3 languages going-on.

fingers crossed, i emailed my genetics professor about the research position. it's a unique new study on Caenorhabditis elegans and the process aging. i am clueless but it sounds intense, especially after that matt ridley book. it was open in december, so i'm be one lucky lady if i got in and after last night i feel like a rabbit's foot. i just ordered 'Proust was a Neuroscientist' by Jonah Lehrer so I am real excited to read that since comp lit. professor said it'd be up my alley if med school doesn't become a reality. it's at the intersection of literature & science just like Musil. i really need to hit the books again. But! if i don't document my life and if i die tomorrow - i'd have accomplished nothing. this way at least, nope... that was a very lame thought. i am procrastinating, no justification.

Friday, January 30, 2009


no seriously. so laura, john and i were walked to the video store and she finds 5 dollars on the street and then we continue walking and i find 20 dollars. we got into the store and i rent four movies with the twenty. then i had the genius idea to get eggs for the morning and to buy lottery tickets with each of our remaining 5 dollars. she buys 'shake them bones' because she knows i love creepy skeleton bone daddies. she scratch'em and she wins 10 dollars and i win 4 dollars. we take another round and we each win 4 dollars. we buy one more, it's a no-go. what a streaaaaaaaaaaaaak :) that's some wild luck.

now she's cracking an egg into a pot of pastina and we're going to watch sideways. i hope i see a monster tonight too!


i just submitted an application for this summer program at robert wood johnson. this is the most anxious, yet simultaneously excited i've been all year. i want to vomit all over the place. bah.

is your horse outside?

this morning i was asked if i ride horses.... as in, because i wear boots, which couldn't look less like riding boots. yet, it struck a nerve because back in 2005 that was all i heard, deja vu joke.
i saw my feminist body professor and we spoke about cate's club >> cate email her. last night was a relaxing finish to my thursday, 13 hr on campus class schedule. sup 4 lectures + a lab.
i did not receive thai cause JAKE NEVER DELIVERS HIS PROMISES, maaaaggot. however, i eat some delicious box-mix brownies, against my better judgment. they were tasty.

Wednesday, January 28, 2009


dinner time break. laura had class, so i got some down time. i'm sitting here, in my kitchen, with a bowl of cracked wheat, blueberries, and a sweet potato watching alkyne synthesis youtube videos and enjoying every second of it; besides from missing cate and breakfast man.
the fog today was amazing.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

in need of an explosion.

i desperately need to be studying at this currently moment but i have to explode for a second and organize it in some manner.  what is wrong with people faking their identities? how is it logical to lie in order gain integrity about your manufactured identity in the first place! this is infuriating. 

candido portinari - retirantes
commentary poverty - abstracted to devoid racial identities and embody universal conditions of human misery rather than radical problems - barnitz

here i am sitting in the basement of the art library spending hours learning about all the scuffling and confusion of Latin American national identities;  how the recalled this & that ancient indian cultures to find their own country's identity - thus the artists identity and the whirlpool-ing path of this synthesis of all these facts. i literally feel asleep on my couch sitting up with my textbook in hand and a highlighter in the other because of the mass of information & its confusing leads. >> however, it is always stated that there is confusion and transcendental debate of how to associate, "one day muletto, then it's indian, then it means this - no way - that was too superficial now this means that, etc". there i won't even get all the articles i had to read on the foundation of the European Union through contemporary historians/critics of the time and national identities were falsified and constantly being renamed & disputed. SO FRANKLY -
if whole continents can be so careful in categorizing their identities and making aims to progressive get closer to a real identity - why do you do the opposite?

vegetarian since eleven - get the fuck out of here; i had the misfortune to see you scruf down a chicken thigh in javamoon cafe 5 years ago when i third wheeled ryan kertis and your date. seriously, you have to be kidding me. april fools? come on, miss. if it's only been x amount of years say i. it's a life decision, but no, you add this ridiculous amount of years to increase your legitimacy - yet you are doing the biggest falsification of all. 

i understand the intelligent thing to do is be displacement and not regard it but this is horrible. if you have a gangrenous wound you don't just shrug it off, you cut of the limb or you treat it - least of all you open your mouth and you express how much it hurts; proactive expression.
considering that being 'proactive in my life' was one of my new year themes - i cannot shut up. you are an idiot - someone needs to say it.

Monday, January 26, 2009

life energy.

i could continue studying all night now cause hodge just sent me the new bird and the bee cd. it's hitting perfectly.

Sunday, January 25, 2009

a fun/weird saturday.

saturday comprised of morning blueberry pancakes, a whole lot of walking, a whole lot of sass on my part (worst mood for no explicable reason), cupcakes of jake's 22nd, and a nice nap. jake's was fun but in a real weird sense. pat was a riot but not enjoying coffee with my treats was quite the opposite. cleary was being an idiot, i'm glad we once were such good friends - real glad. i wanted to go home after the first hour but then kwame came and everything got fun. i ate so many of his vegan carrot cake cupcakes (six), which did not let the extra fifteen pounds i've put on since i'm trying to stop this on/off relationship with bulimia. i'll figure it out

friday was much more fun, lief came over and joined in on the hours of cranium. 

however, now that my mood is in a better state  i desperately need to study. sorry to everyone i've been dodging - i am not as intelligent as these classes need me to be, 18 credits + genetics lab + entomology lab. i really do not have any time. i'mma get to studybugging.

Wednesday, January 21, 2009

real schooling.

it'd be a headache to recap the last few days. i forgot my log-in with all the other organic chemistry memorization i was cramming into my little brain. anyways! classes have started and it is super weird to be in this environment after such a wonderful break. i just flipped a sunside egg and put it into my belly. now DEAN APPOINTMENTS! i feel like i should have just gone to nursing school. no disrespect cause it's still great schooling but it's not as 3 dimensional as this doctor progress. where are my leadership skills? why haven't i had my research published? why can't i balance plates on my nose? headaches! i'm learning to breath.

that's cate with manny's goodbye cupcakes, and this is me at this very second with bed hair.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

scone mishap.

i attempted to make scones for cate this morning... they came out like biscuits? we drenched them in honey and everything was a-okay! my life fix.

Friday, January 16, 2009

it's like inviting gremlins to a pool party.

Thursday, January 15, 2009

nyc pace.

i am exhausted. i, clearly, do not know how to pace myself.
i spent the last 30 hours in manhattan and i don't think i've ever juggled so many dates with friends. al and i got breakfast and had a lazy day at his apartment on 207th street. puma would not leave me alone with her talon claws - super playful. al got me into some awesome new tunes.
then, drew got out of his internship at 530 so we grabbed dinner at angelica's kitchen and it was the most delicious vegan food we had ever ordered. michael, our waiter, was a character; all my laughter made him real nervous. drew keep taking the first sips out of whatever i ordered for the remainder of the night. dave came and met up with us at mud for tasty coffee & cranberry cobbler. oh bog life. we went on and on about new hampshire artist colonies - i was in awe. drew scooped up Borges complete collection after we kept rehashing the subject over dinner and he bought me this aaaahmazing post modern lit novella/magazine; full of imaginary interviews and such. it kept me company.  homosexual, fashionista pseudo crustpunk man went on and on about how he loved my vampire coat and how he's going to try to make one out of fur. "LOVED IT." - had i listened to dave and stood by him i would have missed all these wonderful compliments. sup dick loving fellaz, chat me uppp. all and all i wonderful night - waking up ridiculously early to snow falling and blanket covers was real picturesque.

OH! most important thing. i saw the MTA employee's checking the tunnels with their heavy duty flashlights and i couldn't help but be totally emersed in what monster or dead thing could have been their seek & recover mission. i was thinking in a hellboy mindset. i was probably at a 45 degree angle with the platform. i knew nothing was going to happen but just the excitement of a possibility and all that cool gear got my imagination rived up.

we had cereal and avocados for breakfast and after i realized i've heard multiple times what i take what is being said in the worst possible way. first, i thought it was because i surrounded myself with sillier people. however, now i am doubting that is the case. i'm going to talk to cate about my thoughts on this later tonight - i think, i think that i take the english language in deeper context, or i put more important on words, than the people who are speaking to me. i do not like broad generalizations and categorizing people i enjoy into a collective. maybe it's a sensitivity i have? or a silly tick? i highly doubt i am that pessimistic - i just never want to feel common place. maybe i am just daffy in all this thinking, very very plausible.


Tuesday, January 13, 2009

who wants to get married?

today, montclair keep me company. laura and i filled our bellies with treats and went book hunting. i stayed for dinner with her family who then proceeded to play me old folk records for the next four hours. it was real heart-warming. i believe now, since i don't really have a family anymore, i value other families way more - holding higher value.
oh! and then laura's father told me like i looked like i'd love to have a big family in upstate new york. i thought about that comment for quite some time; i'm pretty sure i'll never have them and i'll keep thinking about why i look like i'd have babies. maybe i'm getting fat... ha probably.

but walking around in the cold for hours and then drinking ridiculous spicy ginger tea has made me extremely sleepy. and considering i have to meet al for breakfast in queens, i should try and get a few hours in. however, i got to snag billy and cate on the interweb, one of whom i barely see and the other is the jelly to my butter; and now goodnight blog.

new "things".

far too many times i've found myself turning to cate telling her to blog about weird things. in honor of my new storkly-delivered macbook - here's to a new thing, this blog thing.  twelve days in 2009 and i have acquired so many new things. my mom bought home a new borzoi pup, (so my mom has a house comprised of more dogs than people), new adventures stories, new resolutions, new books, and a fresh mindset. self imposed ramble ramble and i can't take myself seriously through words, so here you go.
dinner of coffee and treats before it was spit up everywhere :^)

montclair is on the to-do list for tomorrow. lunch, vegan treats, and some joyce, musil, and svevo spines. i hope i can gather them rapidly. and on another train of thought, cate and i have gotten so disgusting close that similar events have been happening to us independently. our lives run parallel. i cannot even begin to make a rational composition of how thankful i am to have such an amazing petite amie. real fun life, recently.

oh! and also recently i've been toying with the idea of sheep farms; newfound love for those creatures and wool. it's a silly obsession but a goal none the less - have a farm house full of sheep in some years.

sleep walk(n)talk.

so john, half asleep mind you, just walked into the living room; then proceeded to turn off the already off television because the high frequency waves were pulsating his brain, tell leonard to 'shut the fuck up' (his lizard), and ask me why i'm still on the internet.

silly sleepwalking aside, all and all a good question. i suppose this happens when your old macbook gets eaten by the coffeemonster and you are computer-less for over two months. i guess i'll go be real and read...