Monday, August 24, 2009

reconnect to past solutions: very proud of ya

take nothing from nothing and you'll have nothing left.
my muscles stiffen through the day.
discomfort never goes away.
someone should throw me away. i feel like a garbage can.
throw me away, i've got no use.
throw me away, i'm nothing to lose.
and it makes me sick, god - it makes me sick.
i can't compete, I can't impress you. I guess I'll show you the door.
throw me away, i feel like shit.
i am useless. i know i know nothing at all.
i'd take a stand, but i know i'd fall.
i'd run head-down into a wall and watch my blood run faster.
girls laugh and pass me on the street.
you're not content until you're brought down,
and you're always so alone because you can't be found.
you're soul is black and you're filled with hate.
let nothing shade your vision, even fight to keep it clear.
what was it i was thinking, or was i even thinking at all?
when i think of what i thought back then, then i'm ashamed,
and i'm appalled that i gave up all i was so easily

throw me away, i've got no use.
throw me away, i'm nothing to lose.
throw me away, i feel like shit.
i am useless. i never seem to feel well.
forever unlucky, cause i'll own tomorrow. forever unwanted, outcast today.
i'm not mislead, i've got no one to follow. everywhere to go, no place to stay.

i always seem to look like hell.
it seems like everyone can tell my mind is going numb.
i'd purify the world with one primal scream, but no one would listen.
keep dark secrets to myself, because no one else will talk to me.
i don't know what's going on, but i don't wanna do it wrong.
don't wanna contradict myself with all the words I sing.
don't, don't ever let go.

i'm going backwards to reset the future mindset i need.
i put on 25 lbs. i can't continue this way. i have to change my thinking. i am cocooning until i'm a human being again. sorry internet, i just had to visualize this thought.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

capital B.

i'll communicate again with the world when i can recognize my reflection. i'm 38% of who i feel i need/want to be and 32% of what i used to be. it's hard to be efficient when you yourself are deficient. no negativity, just an entrance into this uncharted way of movement. i can't live with binary organization or its condemnation. living, an active verb.

other people do things, trying to enjoy otherness, celebrate their successes, and one day my ownness.