john's 21st.

laura made john this cake, while i made john steak and bought him whiskey. i figured getting him the two things i'd never touch would show him i love him. he seemed happy. the actual day part of today sucked, hard. i'm thinking of a new radical way to help my brain feel okay again - still thinking.

oh and i picked this easter-ish flower. 

the journal of medical entomology.

as i sit here in douglass library polishing up my medical entomology paper on Chagas Disease, i curiously look up this word because i didn't feel i reeaaaaally knew its communicative implications. [side note: issues with effective communication have been dominating my mind because of all the readings on Conceptualism in Brazil/Venezuela in the 60-80s period. my mind is constantly fucked] anyways, so the word was...

Sylvatic - is a scientific term referring to diseases or pathogens affecting only wild (sylvan means forest-dwelling) animals. In the context of animal research, its opposite is domestic, which refers to pets, farm animals or other animals which do not dwell in the wild.

it's in the context on my name, sylvatic as a synonym for silvan and if you step in a little closer, silvana. can this explain the instabilities i find in domestic/stable settings? do i crave it as something i was never meant to have? could it?

peep manhattanmoma.

Stephen Shore (American, born 1947), U.S. 97, South of Klamath Falls, Oregon. July 21, 1973, Chromogenic color print

i honestly feel like this stephen shore print. my mind is the mountain that could be in this landscape but it isn't - it is far removed and a fictive work of someone's hand and put here. it's optical and it fools with your perception. from far away - it could fool you. you'd think it'd belong - coexist. it doesn't.

i'm researching mira schendel for my final paper and these early felt tip pen drawings are intensely vibrating to the confusion i feel. where is the instructional manual?

Mira Schendel, Brazilian, born Switzerland. 1919-1988, Untitled, 1960, Felt-tip pen on paper, 103.5 x 70 cm, Collection Adherbal Teixera, © 2009 Mira Schendel Estate

to:

neither do i have the time to think about something to write here nor can i think straight. my mind's been off kilter. it's all dark.

sleepy puppy.

i have a mountainous heap of work to finish, and i'm a sleepy puppy.


but it's a-okay. and i cannot stop listening to this song, or actually this whole album, oh the beautiful men.
"slow decay, I won't stop fighting you! who do you think that is there? i came to fight. i am in the air. i always fall in these fights, I know why and from the best strains of life, I don't write, controlling the age, it takes a toll on my brain. now who do you think that is there? only call them when I know I don't see them, i only call them when I know I don't see them"

http://www.myfriendstoldmeaboutyou.com/
cate, let's find this and watch it. it's only 26 minutes. i know it looks like a lot of moves we've seen, but it's still like all the good ones we've seen. - pretentious maybe, so it's been quoted.