Monday, March 14, 2011
the sheer number of revisions
my corpse like appearance/state of mind
i'm in hell, on a treadmill.
but i absolutely shouldn't complain.
japanese life is real.
it's the constant comparison leaving you without any self-justification
i'm very much alive and not miserable,
but i can't feel any of it.
Saturday, March 12, 2011
why can't you be polite?
rounding the final 10 pages and a rough'n'tough revise.
please, let me (get through it) pass.
too much anxiety for this skin to take/ cyclic anxiety & desperation.
fall back, lay down, get up, die a little, :ll
itching & howling on black screens & mute.
Friday, March 11, 2011
Monday, March 7, 2011
it's me, the eel again.
i keep reoccuring.
can't you see?
i think it's meant to be,
you & me.
i could crawl onto your
thigh and make it my home
i shock and tingle but i'm
real unlike the many of others.
i sigh, "it figures."
the only forevers in my life
are the figures.
they dominate my thoughts
and urge, plead.
they are ruthless,
yet i baby them with a relocation
far from my heart but still nestled in my skin.
Sunday, March 6, 2011
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
gnileefysuolysuolysyoly, and it looks like seriously.
or eel or oily, leefy, which sounds like flighty,
which again i know i am.
but i concentrate on the grim tank, cutting board,
evaporation, dry to the point of dissociation,
an even grimmer winter, and serious.
i remind myself that i l--- winter,
but again i cannot bare to handle that word
but bare, it has the wishing for bear.
impossible association because i am still institutionalized,
it looks and feels like a lousy, oily eel without a leaf
and its serious.
but again in clarification, an eel is not
deep fried and slice for the appetite.
an eel is found in the korean supermarket
as opposing the bowl of mudskippers,
both are dying,
in stark contrast, its the eel though.
[personal note: _______________.]