woooooooooooooooooooo.

haven't been sleeping - just rushing to get work done, etc etc etc.
but importance -

i got into BCP! fuck yes - i'm happy i am alive. Biomedical Careers Program at Robert Wood Johnson Medical School. You have
been placed in BCP Level III - hello medical summer. sup!

i don't know how this is going to fit into my genetics grant program but whatever, acceptance is acceptance.

fluffballs and killers.

"But 2008 TC3's pieces are strange even for ureilites: they are riddled with an unusually large number of holes, says Zolensky. "It boggles the mind that something that porous could survive as a solid object," he says."

"Knowing what asteroids are made of will be crucial if we ever need to deflect one, says Yeomans. NASA aims to provide decades of warning if any killer asteroids are headed for Earth so that a strategy can be devised to avoid a collision. That strategy will differ for various asteroids, which can range from "wimpy ex-cometary fluffballs", to solid rock, to slabs of nickel-iron, says Yeomans."

"Today's surveys have found almost 90% of near-Earth objects with a diameter of 1 kilometre or larger, says Yeomans, but smaller rocks can easily slip by unnoticed. Discovering 2008 TC3 was like finding "a man in a dark grey suit 50% farther away than the Moon", says Kowalski"

AND, Saturn's moon - Titan has a Cryovolcano "which, in the cold of the outer Solar System, would spew a slurry of ice and liquid hydrocarbons, instead of lava." yo wild! ice spewing volcanoes!

it makes me happy to read witty reporting in Nature.

cinco de mayo.

latin huge burritos, yum-yum-yum. we had the nicest waitress too. an hour break turned into 4 hour break but whatever, i feel human and amazing again. hi life.



oh psssssf, after this week of exams and applications, i am definitely having a huge easter party. martha is f-ing brilliant. i wish my job was to spread wholesome cutest like this around. THIS IS HEAVENLY.

now i select you.

i woke up to the candle being on again, uuugh, and on my chemistry papers. i'm bad. so now, i've been in this darn library since 9am writing out mechanisms, and surprising i got a free veg lunch from MAWSA (mid-atlantic women's studies association). i love my state university. i was getting sluggish and POOF! free yummies. i took a program book on their workshops, cool topics addressed. maybe i'll take another break. i seriously live in this library.



cate's coming to nb tonight - i get to see my mamabee :)
she's all the love interest i need. - sidelines are much safer. when i need a spine, i have my shelves to resort to. i wish i could go to these fem classes.

dirty river, let me swim.

research + mechanisms today.
i miss cate; brain explosion after tuesday night

i cleaned the woodchips out of my car.

ha, cate i just posted on yours! i'll write something later. now, on to be being productive: organic chemistry, swiss miss, and witchcraft.

weekend:
dance dance, very berry pancakes, greatness, gross things, yum yums.

little black ache.

most of my morning hours are either spent: 

A.) reading

B.) organizing my oncoming day

C.) daydreaming in my little notebook

neither of which are studying organic chemistry, woe is me. i got a TB shot this morning. one step closer to opening the minds of young, sickly UMDNJ children and downloading so great images in them. i wish cate lived here with me - every moment would be greatly improved. the huge existentialist-ic talk we was like the vicks vapor rub for my illogical brain. obviously, i will much better and will continue it. i want to abolish a few more empty words out of my vocabulary. as for now organic :(, bishop allen and broccoli will continue.

"Chasing my excuses to the end of the night
Tried to make a friend, but it ended with a fight
I don't know why, and I don't know when
But my keys have found a way to lock me out again
Sleeping on the subway in my interview tie
Wander through the rain, sit and wonder why
I haven't got a plan, I haven't got a clue
I've only got one lonely thing that's gonna see me through

I got my little black ache
My little black ache won't fade "

lexicon.

"But we don't deserve all this. It's not fair. We are born innocent, prepared to love and to live. We long for - and we truly deserve - a good world, but the world is not good. It victimizes and defeats us by the sheer weight of its insanity. Still, in the end, crying out in bewilderment and rage, our fundamental feeling of innocence remains, alive and invincible."

bikinis.

today was a great productive day. we went out to dinner, where i proceeded to up spit up everywhere. the noodles got mad at me and so then didn't feel so nice in my belly. i saw a handsome puppy; i should own him [grizzly]. now, at this moment, i am lazy bedbugging it with this john updike novel. i pray i wake up feeling awesome.

ear ache and heated salt socks.

ear ache :(
cate came to keep me company last night and it was a godsent. this morning, currently, cate's in the shower - it's splendid to have my best friend so close. anyways... now back to enolates and their ambident behavior. i'll smile around lunch time.

recent limbo images.

david, the sass pot:

a display from today:

friday en route to lab:



good company tonight. i checked out a john updike. atleast i'm getting a load of reading done? eh.

fishy.

tonight:


"Curated by Jillian Hernandez
LANDMARKS features video and photography work by up-and-coming women artists that utilize nature as a performative space. Representations of female bodies in nature are conventionally informed by conceptions of "mother nature" and pastoral beauty. In the 1970s, feminist artists such as Mary Beth Edelson and Ana Mendieta made interventions into the depiction of women in nature in Western art history by articulating what they believed to be a uniquely "feminine", empowering connection to the natural world that had been suppressed in patriarchal societies. Women artists working today are asserting a more complex relationship between the body and nature by utilizing the landscape as a site of reinvention, play, survival, violence, and sexual expression. "

it's the only thing that's keeping a happy. nothing else good to say. i spent the weekend at my mom's in a bulimic stupor, really ridiculously disappointed in and at myself. i feel awful and would prefer to keep to myself for the rest of my break, just studying organic and drinking the only thing that helps, lemon water. i feel really abnormal; and i wish i didn't write any of this down, ffffffffffff. hjdgvhdgvhdvcircclecirclecirlle

yum yum belly cakes.

brian came home and brought this recipe with him. strawberry stuffed vegan cupcakes with choco-chocolate icing, yummmmm.

if somebody's got soul.

i just came in from a bonfire at john's old house, it was divinely perfect and exactly what i needed. the smell has taken residence in my clothes and in my hair; i love it regardless. i thought a lot about events. i wish i had someone to come home to and curl up wallace&gromit style with, a best friend, a female - cate, i really think we need to make this happen. you and i roommating. similarly, laura and adriana have been the pure definition of wonderfulness these past few weeks. i do feel much better in their presence and i couldn't ask for better friends but when the world slows down i realize i cannot shake this loneliness.

real life hello. i am going to bed.

metric's new album.

i locked myself out of my apartment and car during the hours i was supposed to finalize my paper. i only have to conclude but that is the last verb i feel like doing.

oh martha!

marthastewart.com





i wish i could be happy with the change of a dress.  i surround myself with amazing books and lady music, why am i still so lonely? pssssssssf. baby animals come say hello.

desk against the window.

it's been grey for days and i love it. lucky, all these papers have been keeping me in the library: good life. i carry almond milk in little old vodka bottles? yeah, hm.

cate weekend, le duh - must be great.

cate came over, we're eating HUGE strawberries and writing :) i wish life was always like this. almond milk makes me drink coffee without sugar, cool! one step closer to black.

disclaimer: that is my mom's lady flannel.

"The UP" of the up and down.

6am yesterday: on my way to my mom's for the weekend because she asked to have me around since she's been so down. the sun was as orange and bright as a pumpkin - i took it as a sign for the amazingness that would proceed.
i had breakfast with my mom and then sat down to write my analysis of zeno's conscious and my latin art paper.  cate rescued me from the mundane world of academia and we had wonderfully pleasant day in bradley beach/asbury. it was full of beautifully tattooed men, tomcat bakery tattoos that i am in love with, shorts!, great music & drives, stories, descriptive sounds, coffee's with almond milk and no sugar, and pumpkin vegan treats.