in all my 'ehs' with cate last night, the verbal detox has depressed me past sea level. i'm become so black in thought. yo, fuck. brainnnnnnnnn issues. i want to crawl into a bed that doesn't belong to me nor to anyone else, someplace that no one holds ownership.
there are so many territories that i know i do not belong in.
so i'll continue to lay down with beirut and my legs up - blood rush, suppress my thoughts until the awkward, awkward fathers' day dinner. i'll probably even up at another bar, sipping hot chocolate like last christmas eve.
pity party for one.