another erosion of past ideals. i used to rage at the thought of sedation. and thus, davey havok, man and not pup, i have added yet another letdown onto my mountainous heap of everything you'd spit at. i do the only action i do well, i run away. and this time i found myself heaving on the steps of my mother's house. i put these under my tongue and let them get sucked into my bloodstream and numb. as a wave roll, down jaw/reaching each jointed bone. into each capillary. how i wish you'd suck me in. yet you won't and won't ever yield to my selfish need. schistosoma, i want to be. i want to live there and make you piss blood, hurting prideful in this manhood. a village rejoicing from what you pass. i go numb as i am absent from crowd. look what i started.
and here, you will have your peace. every ache vibrates just at a lower frequency, not high enough for you to feel it. just enough for me remember i am far from ceasing. you and i have gotten our much deserved silent. tiger sleeping in this face crawling, scratching at this door, push to the left and let it starve its way into the submission, of the world. no one cares if you're not wailing/at the door of death and this time, this man won't have the burden of worry. i am slow and silent in this decay, needed room to sway closer and closer to your needed distance.